pnh x rse mcm u'r not welcomed in the clan u always loiter n hangs with? a feeling like none of them nk lyn u n ur talkings to the extend that u felt brushed off.. u talk.. no one listens.. u did smthng.. nobody appreciated.. u try to be a happy virus.. it turns awkward.. it happens to me every once in a while..(except the happy virus thingy.. i don't do happy..) when it does.. i act strange.. i really do.. bcoz i dunno wuts wrong.. tell it straight.. if its my fault, yell it out for all i noe.. benci bile thngs turned iceberg cold.. coz smtimes, u can't fixed it.. it draws u apart n further apart.. so, better yet to quarrel n make up asap..
normally.. i couldn't care less.. if i felt not welcomed usually because i became too bad-mouthed-at-function.. i learned to fixed it somehow.. u have to.. kadang xkan member nk ckp:"weyh akoo terase la ko ckp mke akoo cm rumah x siap.." come on.. u got enough neurons to figure u hurt them by chance now don't u.. time ni klu sorry seems to b the hardest word is sooo a crapness saying..
i respond to every stuff i displeased of with total ignorance(honestly, not very proud of that).. i ignored to much i guess.. when things get tough.. when u hv to think it thru as a way out.. when there's no way out except for heartache cuz i hv to go with the flow.. why not go with the flow beforehand? see..? everyone slalu nk bnde yg xleh dpt.. its always about going for the impossible kan x? myself included big time.. i hv quite a numbr of sensitive friends.. love them all equally.. n sbb tu lah.. i hv to learn somehw that my lancangness wud hurt them.. coz smtimes, the closer u r, the better chance u get to hurt ur frens with slight sarcasticsm.. so don't b sarcastic now shall we?
the ignorance i hv is not frm birth (pheewwhh..) i used to want to be someone dats totally not me.. anyone other than myself.. i tried following or copying (to be precise) multiple people i noe on their lyfstyle n thnkng.. but somehow it just doesn't sound and feel rite.. its like owning smthng dat doesn't belong to u frm the very start.. oh, did i mentioned dat i get bored verrrry easily.. yeah, i seriously do.. so when it's not rite, i tend to get bored of myself n my doings.. so i decide to go along with the flow.. i hate plannings.. which equals to breakdowns n dissapointments.. afraid.. as well as hating it.. but when thngs started to fall into place.. i guess there r crucial decisions to be decide.. its me who is crazy enuff tak senonoh pnye perangai wat tatao je smtimes.. =P
kdg2 kan.. klu kite down.. o kwn kte tgh down.. maybe kite x mgharapkn diorg pujok kite.. sbb, being there is just gud enuff.. don't go further.. sbb smtimes the rite words to say is null.. it's rubbing salt to the wound now is it? o in other words: akoo sayang korg.. thnx 4 staying beside me.. but cud u pleessh2 drop it n say absolute nothing? consolations is the least i wud need rite now.. ha.. cmtu laa.. sigh~ (x phm akoo ngan diri sndiri..)
rindu iejat & shafie~~ hmmphhff..
No comments:
Post a Comment