its a friend-life process..

pnh x rse mcm u'r not welcomed in the clan u always loiter n hangs with? a feeling like none of them nk lyn u n ur talkings to the extend that u felt brushed off.. u talk.. no one listens.. u did smthng.. nobody appreciated.. u try to be a happy virus.. it turns awkward.. it happens to me every once in a while..(except the happy virus thingy.. i don't do happy..) when it does.. i act strange.. i really do.. bcoz i dunno wuts wrong.. tell it straight.. if its my fault, yell it out for all i noe.. benci bile thngs turned iceberg cold.. coz smtimes, u can't fixed it.. it draws u apart n further apart.. so, better yet to quarrel n make up asap..

normally.. i couldn't care less.. if i felt not welcomed usually because i became too bad-mouthed-at-function.. i learned to fixed it somehow.. u have to.. kadang xkan member nk ckp:"weyh akoo terase la ko ckp mke akoo cm rumah x siap.." come on.. u got enough neurons to figure u hurt them by chance now don't u.. time ni klu sorry seems to b the hardest word is sooo a crapness saying..

i respond to every stuff i displeased of with total ignorance(honestly, not very proud of that).. i ignored to much i guess.. when things get tough.. when u hv to think it thru as a way out.. when there's no way out except for heartache cuz i hv to go with the flow.. why not go with the flow beforehand? see..? everyone slalu nk bnde yg xleh dpt.. its always about going for the impossible kan x? myself included big time.. i hv quite a numbr of sensitive friends.. love them all equally.. n sbb tu lah.. i hv to learn somehw that my lancangness wud hurt them.. coz smtimes, the closer u r, the better chance u get to hurt ur frens with slight sarcasticsm.. so don't b sarcastic now shall we?

the ignorance i hv is not frm birth (pheewwhh..) i used to want to be someone dats totally not me.. anyone other than myself.. i tried following or copying (to be precise) multiple people i noe on their lyfstyle n thnkng.. but somehow it just doesn't sound and feel rite.. its like owning smthng dat doesn't belong to u frm the very start.. oh, did i mentioned dat i get bored verrrry easily.. yeah, i seriously do.. so when it's not rite, i tend to get bored of myself n my doings.. so i decide to go along with the flow.. i hate plannings.. which equals to breakdowns n dissapointments.. afraid.. as well as hating it.. but when thngs started to fall into place.. i guess there r crucial decisions to be decide.. its me who is crazy enuff tak senonoh pnye perangai wat tatao je smtimes.. =P

kdg2 kan.. klu kite down.. o kwn kte tgh down.. maybe kite x mgharapkn diorg pujok kite.. sbb, being there is just gud enuff.. don't go further.. sbb smtimes the rite words to say is null.. it's rubbing salt to the wound now is it? o in other words: akoo sayang korg.. thnx 4 staying beside me.. but cud u pleessh2 drop it n say absolute nothing? consolations is the least i wud need rite now.. ha.. cmtu laa.. sigh~ (x phm akoo ngan diri sndiri..)

rindu iejat & shafie~~ hmmphhff..

ahah.. somebody's retiring seventeen huh? its been a great year living in.. lots of new things n continuation bits by bits of the ol' same thing.. not very same nemore so i believed.. =S

so here's one of the awkward hi-lite.. hahaha..(gelak dlu) in class.. i've never sat kt depan.. tgh penah kott.. kott laa.. (couldn't recall) but thats not it.. kat blkg mmg mke2 cnstant je.. these faces are like writtened on the forehead 'the seat at the back belongs to us'. but dats not it.. we talk n laugh n talk n yacking all our might along the way thru classes or no class regardless.. so, nk djdkn cerite.. all awhile, we never cared ble one of us(yg kt blkg ni) crack a joke out of blue sbb nnti gelak satu kroni la kan2.. tp dis time around.. it's not us cracking anythng, it the lecturer.. dgn halusnye die wat lawak.. n dat time the ones yg noticed r the 3 non-stop yackers..(myself included).. so without further notice, we laughed out loud.shut up. the whole class terkezut.. gave us an awkward glare+stare b4 sir tnye: ape yg klakar? we'r still n our bits of gags that time.shut up. when we'r done laughing bru realized dat maybe.. a high potential maybe.. my classmates we thinking we'r just some loonies laughing unreasonably.shut up.shut up. segan plak tetibe. but then again.. tibe2.. they laugh.. 4 the same reason why we did few moments ago.. i got a bit flared up but still bit embarrassed.. so i let go.. but, when i came to think about it l8er on.. i can't brush off the embarassment felt.. nape ah? ntahlaa.. haha.. oh2, mybe sbb its just the three of us but we laughed like its there's 30 of us..oh shut up already.

i've alwys loved gifts n pretzies.. i really do.. when it comes to those things, i really don't care wut's given.. ok, so beat it i hate that all glared-flashy-girly-sweet pink color. but do they actually tot that if i'm given stuff in such color that i wud actually toss it away..? oh come on.. its the tots that counts kan2? i like that saying.. its deep.. haha.. rata2 my friends sume pnh ugut nk bg bday pretzies in pink.. can i ever say no? evn if i hate the color, u guys r giving it to me as a significance of remembering me (in such a pranky way though).. but still.. kate kawan kan..? amek je la kan2.. xpe, i'll bought myself the new u2 cd.. nk harap korg mcm tggu bono dtg umah akoo.. hmmphff..

oh.. i got new revo.. until its achieved, lets let the revo of mine be pendingly mystery ayte..

gtg 4 now..